I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
