Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize