the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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