OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
