I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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