i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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