We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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