Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
