she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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