So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
