did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
