im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
