The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
