Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
