Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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