We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
