YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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