babies were throwing up all over the place
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
