Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Houston, we have a squirter
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
