Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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