True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
