I can tuck mytits in my pants
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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