You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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