wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
