margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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