The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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