so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
