Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
