Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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