Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just high enough for therapy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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