there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize