make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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