she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
my liver is dry heaving
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
