He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
