Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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