what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Everclear isn't food dammit
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
