God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
