The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize