That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
