I wannas sexs uuuuu
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
