Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
