Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize