The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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