I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
