now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize