OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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