Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
