ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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