i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
