people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Boobs are out for the taking
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You left your phone here
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