will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
