Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
