According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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