something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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