Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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