party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
