How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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