Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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