you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
