Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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