try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
