She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
