I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
