this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
